Being with your Village

Published on 9 August 2024 at 22:51

This past week, I was privileged to experience the idea of "parenting with a village," and this experience was nothing short of transformative. What made it even more special was that this village was centered around one of my sisters—someone I love deeply and have practically raised myself.

I spend the last week in Toronto with my younger sister, her daughter, my two daughters and one of my other nieces who I borrowed for a few days. As I allowed my sister to step in, I immediately noticed the impact on my daily life. The never-ending list of parenting tasks that once felt overwhelming was suddenly more manageable. Simple things like having her help with meals or watch the kids for a bit made an enormous difference. The load lightened, and with that, my stress levels decreased. I found myself more present and patient with my kids, which in turn made our interactions more positive and fulfilling. And even though between the two of us we were parenting more children, it seemed so much easier

The real surprise, though, was the effect this had on my children. With my sister around, they were exposed to a different perspective, learning opportunities, and social interactions. This variety not only kept them engaged and entertained, but it also helped them develop crucial social skills. I noticed they were more regulated, less prone to meltdowns, and generally happier. They seemed to thrive in this environment where they felt supported by a wider community of loved ones. It reinforced the idea that children benefit greatly from having multiple caring adults in their lives, not just their parents.

For me, this experience was also about self-care. Parenting is demanding, and it’s easy to lose yourself in the constant cycle of caregiving. By sharing the responsibility with my sister, I found small but significant moments to recharge. Whether it was enjoying a quiet cup of coffee alone, having a meaningful conversation with her, or simply knowing that someone else was there to help, these moments made a huge difference. They allowed me to fill my own cup, which in turn made me a better parent. With my energy restored, I could approach parenting with more creativity, patience, and enthusiasm.

This week has taught me a valuable lesson: parenting with a village is not just a nice concept; it’s essential for the well-being of both parents and children. It’s about recognizing that we’re not meant to do this alone. When we allow others into our parenting journey, everyone benefits. My kids thrived, I felt more balanced, and our interactions were filled with more laughter and less stress.

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