Mommy Guilt: Let it go!

Mommy Guilt: Let it go!

Motherhood is a lot of things and invokes a lot of feelings, it is filled with love, joy, and countless precious moments. However, it also comes with its fair share of challenges, and, for many mothers, a nagging companion known as "mommy guilt." This unwelcome guest often creeps into the minds of moms, making them question their decisions and abilities. Let’s talk about the concept of mommy guilt, its origins, and ways to overcome it while embracing the imperfect beauty of motherhood.

The Roots of Mommy Guilt:

Mommy guilt can stem from various sources, including societal expectations, comparison with other mothers, and the relentless pursuit of perfection. Social media platforms often showcase curated images of flawless motherhood, creating an unrealistic standard that many feel compelled to meet. Whether it's the perfect family photo, a spotless home, or seemingly effortless parenting, these images can trigger feelings of inadequacy and guilt in mothers who may perceive their own efforts as falling short. I found I am happiest and most present  with my children when I’m running my own race and comparing myself to no one. Guilt and perfection serve no one and often achieve the opposite, when life is looked at as all or nothing; burn out can creep in and we do less because we are overwhelmed.  

Realities of Motherhood:

It's crucial to recognize that motherhood is not a one-size-fits-all journey. Each mother faces unique circumstances, challenges, and strengths. The perfect mom does not exist because, in reality, there is no universal definition of perfection in parenting. Understanding and accepting this truth is the first step in alleviating mommy guilt.

Overcoming Mommy Guilt:

1. Acknowledge and Accept Imperfection: Embrace the reality that perfection is an unattainable goal. Recognize that making mistakes is a natural part of parenting, and these moments contribute to growth and learning for both you and your child.
2. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Motherhood is a demanding role, and it's okay to feel overwhelmed at times. Treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding that you would offer to a friend facing similar challenges. When I think I’m being hard on myself, I ask would I say what I’m saying to myself to someone else having a hard time, often times the answer is no.
3. Set Realistic Expectations: Establish achievable goals and expectations for yourself. Understand that you cannot do everything, and it's okay to ask for help when needed. Prioritize self-care to maintain your physical and mental well-being. It’s also important for your kids to see you resting, we model this behaviour and if all your children see is an overworked person, they will think that is the standard.
4. Connect with Other Moms: This is my advice for everything! Share your experiences with fellow mothers. You'll likely find that many others have faced similar struggles and can offer support, understanding, and valuable advice. Building a community of supportive moms can help combat feelings of isolation and inadequacy.
5. Focus on Quality, Not Quantity: Quality time with your child is more important than the quantity of time spent. Be present, engage in meaningful interactions, and cherish the moments you have together. Quality parenting fosters a strong bond and positive memories.

If you take nothing else way from this blog, remember, you are doing an amazing job, and your love and effort are the most valuable gifts you can give to your child.

If you want to chat about Mommy Guilt book some time with me by sending me a message

Naima